Life can be a struggle

As the years have pass i realize that i didn’t have the best childhood as i wished i could have had. Being a child growing up with parents who always argued and never got along. Having two brothers and at the time seeing them suffer because of the problems my parents were going through was rough. All i ever wanted was a normal family like everybody else had. When i was younger i lived with my father and two brothers. i was 9 years of age when i first met my mother. When i had no idea who she was i remember trying to picture her face in my mind,but it just never worked for me. When she came back we thought that our family would be reunited and everything would be good. To our surprize she only came back to take me and my brothers away from my dad. She had a new family, two other kids who i had no idea that they were my stepbrothers. I guess we were to excited to see her again that we just left our anger and questions that we had behind and start a new chapter in our lives with her not realizing the big mistake we were making on leaving our father behind. He was the only one who knew the reasons why they always argued. As far as i remember he never wanted to tell me the reasons, he would say that i wasn’t old enough to know. Living with my mother was like living with a stranger. She was never there for me when i needed advise, when i was feeling down and my hopes were destroyed. She was the reason why i was always so depressed. Not wanting to care about school or what people thought about me. I trusted my stepdad way more then i trusted her. When ever i would try to sit and talk to her about something personal she would get angry and just start yelling. She always wanted things done her way. We could never win an argument with her because she always had to be right no matter what. The reason why i never gave her my trust. With my stepdad it was the opposite, he knew how to listen and give me his opinion about anything. He was more like my best friend. It bothered her that i was so close to my stepdad then her, but i stopped caring about her opinions. I stopped talking to her. Sometimes i wouldn’t see her all day long. Everything about her just didn’t bother me anymore. we got in a big argument one day about something that wasn’t worth it. She stopped talking to me for about a month. At that point in my life i realized that i couldn’t deal with it anymore.  I was tired of the hitting and yelling all the time for no good reason, or sometimes no reason at all. I felt like she hated me because i was the only one who would get treated like that from all my brothers. I ended up realizing that it was unfair to continue with that type of life. At times it would come to my mind if my father would still support me like he said he would. Thankfully he did. After so many years of not talking to him imagine how i felt when we did again.Finding out that all the negative things my mother would say about him weren’t true. I hope she regrets everything she did to me, all the insults and mistreats i received from her. The only solution she left me was to leave her side and move with my father. For me that was a new chapter in my life but it was also difficult to leave half of my life behind. so many good and bad memories. Moving from Las Vegas to Kansas city was hard but everyday that passes by i remind myself that my life isn’t over yet and one day i will accomplish my goals. Goals that my own mother didn’t believe i can reach.

father with children sunset 2

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