Unspoken Thoughts by Jocy

Dear Mom,

Now that I am old enough to understand the sacrifices you made, I want to say how thankful I am that you made that big of a decision. For me, a sacrifice is letting my little brothers play on my phone or having them in my room but to you a sacrifice is something bigger. You left your life behind, for us to have a better future. Remember when you always told me that things were going to work out? Well now I know that if everything worked out, it was because of you. I know it wasn’t easy for you to move to a new place with four kids, but you managed to do it. As I look back on what you did for me and my brothers I ask myself how you did it, not because I don’t believe in you but because you were a single parent. I am still shocked on how everything was, the amount of strength it took you to leave my grandparents house to struggle and all the work it took you for us to be in a better place. At the beginning not everything was perfect, but we were happy and that was all you cared about, our happiness. I would notice how tired you were after work, and I would think to myself why my dad wasn’t around to help you, but I never said a thing, I would just go up to you and hug you. As you started saving money for us to have our own house, that’s when I started to pay attention to all the sacrifices you had and were going to make. I remember you used to leave us home alone while you went to work, but that look of yours I will never forget. That look you gave us, like if it was the last time you were going to look at us, it scared me at times but now I know it was because you were worried that something could happen to us. I don’t have the words to say thank you for all that you have done for us. Coming to Kansas City from Mexico was a difficult transition for me because of the language but for you it was something even more difficult. You had to find a job, a place where we could live, and a car to move around the city. You found a job in no time, but everything was hard, I would hear you talking to my dad on the phone saying that you needed his help, but I never saw him helping you. You had to work really hard for us to have what we needed, after years of you working that’s when you started being sick all the time. After that the visits to the hospital became more frequent, I was really scared to losing you, but I knew you were strong enough to recover. Nothing was the same even after all the medications, some days you were okay and others you weren’t. I couldn’t do anything to help, and that has been my nightmare ever since. I help you on everything I can now because I don’t want you to struggle anymore like you did. Sometimes you might not notice, but I cancel plans because I know you need help and I am never going to leave you alone. Ever since I was little you are my superhero, not my dad, like most kids. Seeing you struggle has made me realize that you would give your life for us to have a better future, and I know that graduating is a step closer for me to prove that I am thankful for everything you have done. I promise that all the sacrifices you have made are going to pay off. I have to be successful not just for me, but for you. I know it will make you happy and accomplished knowing that I have a better future, thanks to all the hard work you did. You wanted the best for us, and now I want to make sure that I pay you back for everything you have done and are doing for me not only because It will make me happy but because I know that you are going to be proud of me. One of my biggest goals in life is for you to notice that everything you did, did not just go to the trash, it became my reason to have a better life and work for everything I want. On every hard situation I face, all I do is remember what you had to go through for us to have a better future, and I always say giving up in not an option. Even if I say thank-you a thousand times, it’s never going to be enough to express how grateful I really am for everything. I am not sure if I can ever give you this letter, but all I can tell you is that I love you.

Sincerely,

Your only daughter